Conflict Is Inevitable, Here's How To Navigate It

Conflict Is Inevitable, Here's How To Navigate It

By: Jeff Faulkner | 4,253 Reads | 11 Shares

Conflict Is Inevitable, Here's How To Navigate It

%3Cp%3EConflict+is+a+given+in+life.+No+two+people+agree+on+every+angle+of+every+subject.+In+emotionally+bonded+relationships+like+family+and+or+business+partnerships%2C+differences+of+opinion+carry+more+weight+and+often+leads+to+conflict.+For+example%2C+we+have+been+conditioned+in+some+way+to+avoid+2+main+topics+in+discussion%26hellip%3Bpolitics+and+religion.+Among+the+diversity+of+social+networks%2C+a+mistaken+belief+exists+that+our+relationships+cannot+handle+differences+in+viewpoint.+If+my%3A%3C%2Fp%3E%0D%0A%3Cul%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EChild+believes+something+different+than+I+do%2C+then+I+must+have+done+something+wrong+as+a+parent.%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3ESpouse+believes+something+different+than+me%2C+then+we+are+not+compatible%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EBusiness+partner+sees+a+situation+from+a+different+perspective+our+business+may+implode%2C+or+it+would+just+be+embarrassing.%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3C%2Ful%3E%0D%0A%3Cp%3EThere+are+some+underlying+reasons+for+these+responses+to+our+differences%2C+which+is+probably+subject+matter+for+another+article%2C+but+here+I+wish+to+deal+with+how+to+navigate+conflict+rather+than+how+to+prevent+it+or+minimize+it.%3C%2Fp%3E%0D%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3EAvoidance+of+conflict+is+not+the+answer%2C%3C%2Fstrong%3E+though+for+many+partners+and+families+in+business%2C+this+is+the+norm.+The+reason+this+isn%26rsquo%3Bt+the+answer+is+because+the+issues+don%26rsquo%3Bt+get+resolved%2C+only+swept+under+the+proverbial+rug.+There+may+be+no+outward+or+overt+conflict+occurring%2C+but+the+underlying+current+of+covert+conflict+is+real+and+beginning+to+cause+problems%2C+especially+now+with+Covid-19.%3C%2Fp%3E%0D%0A%3Cp%3EThe+only+way+to+resolution+is+to+go+through+the+conflict+not+around+it.+Yes%2C+I%26rsquo%3Bm+telling+you+that+you%2C+your+family%2C+and%2For+your+business+partners+need+to+address+the+issues+head+on+%26ndash%3B+now.+I+know+that+to+engage+the+conflict+overtly+in+a+world+where+it%26rsquo%3Bs+been+swept+under+the+rug+for+a+long+time+is+a+recipe+for+a+nuclear+explosion.+But+its+critical+to+learn+how+to+fight+in+the+right+way%2C+fairly+and+for+each+other+and+the+business.+There+is+too+much+at+stake+to+avoid+it%21+The+health+and+resilience+of+your+business+is+depending+upon+your+ability+to+communicate%2C+work+through+differences+of+opinion%2C+and+find+common+ground.%3C%2Fp%3E%0D%0A%3Cp%3EWe+need+to+approach+the+nuclear+reactor+with+appropriate+control+rods.+Control+rods+are+the+mechanism+used+to+slow+down+the+reaction+in+a+nuclear+reactor.+In+the+family+and+business+arena%2C+these+control+rods+are+collectively+referred+to+as+governance.+There+are+several+aspects+of+good+governance+that+allow+you+to+exercise+the+control+rods+that+will+keep+the+hard+discussions+from+getting+out+of+control+and+blowing+your+stack.%3C%2Fp%3E%0D%0A%3Cp%3E%3Cstrong%3ELearn+basic+communication+skills.+One+person+speaks.+The+other+person+listens.%3C%2Fstrong%3E+Not+terribly+difficult+to+comprehend%2C+but+for+many%2C+terribly+difficult+to+do.+But+come+on%2C+just+stop+talking+over+each+other.+If+this+simple+insertion+of+a+control+rod+isn%26rsquo%3Bt+strong+enough+to+slow+down+the+reaction%2C+then+stick+it+in+further.+Create+communication+rules+that+support+the+idea.%3C%2Fp%3E%0D%0A%3Cul%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EIdentify+an+object+that+represents+who+the+speaker+is%2C+like+a+piece+of+tile+or+a+piece+of+carpet%2C+quite+literally+signifying+who+has+the+floor.+If+you+don%26rsquo%3Bt+have+the+floor%2C+you+are+not+allowed+to+speak.+If+this+isn%26rsquo%3Bt+effective%2C+stick+the+control+rod+in+further.%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3ECreate+a+rule+for+how+long+someone+can+hold+on+to+the+floor%2C+like+60+seconds+tops+%26ndash%3B+no+filibustering%21+You+must+also+create+rules+that+help+the+listener+do+a+better+job+of+listening+to+ensure+they+are+picking+up+the+right+message.+Here%26rsquo%3Bs+the+cycle+of+communication+to+make+this+as+simple+as+possible%3A%0D%0A%3Cul%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EI+speak%2C+you+listen.+You+tell+me+what+you+heard.+I+either+confirm+you+got+it+or+correct+where+I+think+you+did+not.%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EWhen+I+tell+you%2C+%26ldquo%3Byes%2C+you+understand+me%26rdquo%3B+only+then+are+you+allowed+to+say%2C+%26ldquo%3BI+understand.%26rdquo%3B+Then%2C+you+speak+and+I+listen%2C+and+we+follow+the+same+process.%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3C%2Ful%3E%0D%0A%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3C%2Ful%3E%0D%0A%3Cp%3ESo%2C+yes%2C+governance+is+about+creating+rules.+Rules+create+the+control+that+is+needed+to+keep+the+nuclear+reactor+a+powerful+form+of+positive+energy+without+a+meltdown+or+explosion.+The+more+volatile+the+situation%2C+the+more+rules+needed.+A+plethora+of+areas+exist+where+these+kinds+of+rules%2Fcontrol+rods+will+add+value+in+a+close-knit+multi-unit+franchising+business+and%2For+a+multi-unit+franchising+family+business%2C+which+include+but+are+not+limited+to+the+following%3A%3C%2Fp%3E%0D%0A%3Cul%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EWho+gets+to+work+in+the+business+and+under+what+conditions%3F%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EHow+do+we+expect+family%2C+family+of+employees%2C+or+friends+of+family+to+act+when+they+come+to+work%3F%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EHow+do+family+members+get+compensated%3F%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EHow+are+family+members+promoted%3F%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EWhat+perks+does+a+family+member+have+a+right+to%3F%0D%0A%3Cul%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EWho+gets+to+use+credit+card+points%3F%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EWho+gets+to+use+the+jet+hours%3F%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3C%2Ful%3E%0D%0A%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EWhat+kind+of+monetary+distribution+from+family-owned%2Fincome+producing+assets+can+we+expect%3F%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EWhat+kind+of+forum+do+we+need+to+talk+about+these+things%3F%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EWhat+is+the+makeup+of+our+board+of+directors%3F+Or+do+we+even+have+a+board%3F+How+does+the+board+function%3F%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EHow+do+we+separate+business+assets+from+family+assets%3F%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3Cli%3EHow+do+we+separate+business+issues+from+family+issues%3F%3C%2Fli%3E%0D%0A%3C%2Ful%3E%0D%0A%3Cp%3EWhen+you+and+your+family%2Fbusiness+partners+are+able+to+establish+the+appropriate+governance+to+deal+with+these+and+other+issues%2C+and+are+able+to+navigate+your+way+through+conflict+and+come+to+mutually+acceptable+resolutions+and+ways+of+handling+things+without+a+nuclear+meltdown%2C+it+goes+a+long+way+toward+building+confidence+in+your+relationships.+You+will+be+able+to+say+with+assurance+that+your+business+can+handle+some+very+tough+things+and+make+your+way+through+it+without+causing+World+War+III.%3C%2Fp%3E%0D%0A%3Cp+style%3D%22border-top%3A+1px+solid+%23DDDDDD%3B+padding-top%3A+5px%3B%22%3E%26nbsp%3B%3Cem%3E%3Cstrong%3EJeff+Faulkner%3C%2Fstrong%3E+is+a+partner+with+The+Rawls+Group+%26ndash%3B+Business+Succession+Planners%2C+which+has+over+45+years+of+succession+planning+experience+in+the+franchise+environment.+By+nature%2C+business+ownership+is+risky%2C+there+is+a+lot+at+stake%2C+flexibility+is+key+to+feel+the+rewards+of+your+work.+The+Rawls+Group%26rsquo%3Bs+approach+to+succession+creates+strategies+and+structure+to+keep+you+on+track+to+live+out+your+vision.+For+more+information+visit+%3Ca+href%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rawlsgroup.com%22+target%3D%22_blank%22+rel%3D%22noopener%22%3Ewww.rawlsgroup.com%3C%2Fa%3E+or+email+%3Ca+href%3D%22mailto%3Ainfo%40rawlsgroup.com%3Fsubject%3D%22+target%3D%22_blank%22+rel%3D%22noopener%22%3Einfo%40rawlsgroup.com%3C%2Fa%3E+%3C%2Fem%3E%3C%2Fp%3E
Published: May 26th, 2020

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